Three times a week, my life stops. I know it sounds weird, but I feel it is true. I go a long with the things of life and some days my life feels normal. Then I make the journey to the nursing home where I am reminded that my mom is sick. That is when my life stops. That is when I am reminded that my mom is slowly fading away. It is part of my life and sometimes I have days that I am so busy, I forget that part. But I go to see her and I am reminded. I sit with her and have simple conversations. I leave and slowly go back to my life, until the next time I visit.
I sometimes wonder what my life is going to be like when she passes on. I don't think about it often because even though she will be healed, I will miss seeing her. I will miss the 3 times a week trips and simple conversations. So, even though I feel like my life stops every time I visit, I cherish the visits. I make my journey to the nursing home 3 times a week, while I have the chance.
I almost cry each time I see your mom. More of her is gone and I didn't know her before. It is a profound kind of sadness, and you are wise to visit while you can even for the simple part and conversations. I love when you share them with me.
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