When your loved one has an incurable disease, it is very hard at time to be thankful. Each day I see my mom slipping further and further away. I miss her all the time. She is not the same person anymore. She can no longer do most things for herself. She is slowly not recognizing me as much. So, how can I be thankful in all of this?
First, I am thankful for the care that the nursing home gives her. I am thankful for the staff and the friendships I have built there. They care for her in a way that I cannot. They support me and my decisions I make for her. The doctors at the nursing home care about both of us. They ask how I am doing in all of this. They don't pressure me and want what is best for me. Decisions at this stage in her disease are not easy. They help me each step of the way. Hospice helps with her pain and having other visit her when I can't.
Second, I am thankful that we can go to the ER and get her jaw fixed when it locks. The insurance pays for it and we are usually in and out of there in a few hours. Am I thankful her jaw is having issues, no. Do I understand it, no. But I am thankful to have the means to fix it. I am thankful for the caring Ambulance company that I use most of the time because they know us. Yes, it is sad they know us...but they care about us.
Third, I am thankful that I am able to be there for my mom. It is exhausting and I ache deeply all the time for her. But I can be there to make decisions on her behalf that she is not able to make anymore. Most people just drop their loved ones off and don't really care. Some have to work to provide for their family. I am thankful for a hardworking and understand husband, that allows me to take care of my mom.
Most of all, I am thankful that this is not the end. I am thankful that my mom made that decision many years ago to accept Christ as her savior. One day, she will be whole again. Oh, how I wish it was on this side of Heaven. But I know that God is holding every lost thought, word and memory in His mighty hand. I know that He is holding every tear I have cried over her, in His hands. One day, all those will be restored. He holds her so close to Him and He holds me close, even when I don't feel Him. I know He is there. I know He cries with me. Could He take this all away? Yes. But this is the road He has chosen for us to walk. I am thankful He is walking this with me. I am thankful for the faith that I see this journey developing in me. See faith isn't developed in the good times and when life is going smoothly. Faith is developed when I can 't see the end, I can't see the reason for all of this, I keep praying for her jaw and it keeps getting locked. Faith is developed when I cry out to Him because my strength is gone and I have to go to the ER one more time. And so many other times through all of this. Oh, how I am thankful for my Faith!
I am thankful that one day this is verse and long for that day!
Revelation 21:4
And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain.
